Five.
This post is not about food, or health, or non-toxic living. Please indulge me as I use this post to celebrate my five year old.
Abigail:
A Hebrew name meaning “her Father’s joy” or “fountain of joy.”
Abigail… was intelligent and beautiful in appearance. (1 Samuel 25:3)
Baby Abigail,
Yesterday you turned five. You were asleep when it officially happened, and maybe by then I was, too. All day yesterday I would think, and often say, ‘Five years ago right now, Abi was still inside of me.’ With you being born close to midnight, today feels like the real anniversary of having you on this side of my skin.
But even before I could see you, what a joy you were! Every movement was a miracle. Every turn reminded me of the glory of your Creator. Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee: How great Thou art! How great Thou art!
I remember the surreal physical relief of the moment you joined us here on the outside. It was as if the joy of my heart and soul was alive in every exhausted inch of my body, fulfilling its purpose and pointing me toward mysterious and larger truths. For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us… For we know that the whole creation groans and suffers the pains of childbirth together until now… For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope; for who hopes for what he already sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it.
My desire to hold and feed you was so strong! More in the muscles of my arms and the milk in my breasts than in my mind at all. And your desire to eat – your desire for me – was all you knew. You are He who brought me forth from the womb; You made me trust when upon my mother’s breasts.
Dearest Abi, every day you help me to see our God and His Word more clearly!
Your faith is not mysterious to you. Nor is it a struggle. You are not ashamed of your Savior, and in love you share His story without reservation. Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it at all.
You are so like me, and so like your father, and so very much yourself. You are unique and designed. For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb… I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well.
Sweet Abi, you help me to see myself, in relation to God, more clearly!
My desire to protect and provide for you is like neglect when considering how Jehovah Jireh lavishly cares for us. If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him! My wisdom and knowledge with which I raise you and which I try to pass on to you is nonsense next to our great God. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness before God…
And the love that God has placed in my heart toward you is too wonderful for words. Yet I know this is as hate compared to our Father’s love for us. Can a woman forget her nursing child, And have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, but I will not forget you.
Darling Abigail, you help me to see the awe of God’s sacrifice on our behalf more clearly!
And when I think that God, His Son not sparing, sent Him to die I scarce to take it in. That on the cross, my burden gladly bearing, He bled and died to take away my sin – Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee: How great Thou art! How great Thou art!
Thank you for the joy you have given me. It is my deepest prayer that you will always know and do the will of God, always trust Jesus Christ as the Lord your life, and always hear and house the Holy Spirit.
Father God, thank you for Abigail.
References:
*How Great Thou Art (Hymn based on a Swedish poem by Carl Gustav Boberg, translated into English by Stuart K. Hine, who composed an additional verse)
*Romans 8:18-25
*Psalm 22:9
*Mark 10:15/ Luke 18:17
*Psalm 139:13-14
*Matthew 7:11
*1 Corinthians 3:19(a)
*Isaiah 49:15
*How Great Thou Art
Daddy’s Tribute
Here is a song and video my husband produced for Abi a year and a half ago:
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So I just got my cry in for the day! That was the sweetest video!!!! Thank you for sharing this!
Thanks for reading and watching! Abi and I just watched the video twice, and we both cried, too!
So precious! I love how God shows us so much of Himself through this journey of being a mom. Blessings to you all as you celebrate “5!”
Thanks, Shanda!
Great Post! One of my favorite NS Voss tunes too!! I’ve often said that God has taught me a lot about His love for me through my relationship with my daughters. I marvel when I consider that no matter how much I try or desire to love as God loves, I’m simply not capable of perfect love… But He is and He loves each of us perfectly… without hessitation, reservation, or limitation. What an example we have in our Father.
Thanks, Matt, and amen to that!
little abi, how can it be that she’s 5?! i pray that she was always follow Jesus.
love,
noelle
I know it! And your girls are right around the corner. It is crazy.
Abi’s face looks exactly the same as the day she was born! Some look different by the time they are five, but not Abi!
Im crying at work AGAIN!!! Just stopeed by because I linked your name as editor and added your blog. You are an amazing Mom. I love my daughters. im making a fool out of myself in my office crying so hard. Needed this thank you!!!!!
I love butter because of you and your Mom (previous post)that made me tear up too. She’d love Abi so much and be so proud of you!!!
Thanks, Monique. Sorry for making you cry. Can’t wait to see your blog! xoxo